When people ask me what it is that I love about my current home I typically respond with the people. The people of Nepal are a loving people. They accept me as their own. They invite me to dinner at their homes and more often then not this means that they are giving to me out of not their wealth but their poverty. They greet me as I walk down the street and allow me to play with their children. I do not think there is a much better example of Godliness than what so often times is shown to me by a people that know little to nothing of Christ. They have adopted me as their own.
Since my time working in the foster care system in Tennessee a few years ago, I have been a huge supporter of adopting and fostering children. Then as I began to search scripture on the subject I no longer thought it was a good idea, but it is what Christians must do. I believe we do not have a choice, if children need a home we must provide one. There are many reasons that I believe this fact, but I want to share with you something I learned during my time from a young girl that helped convince me that adoption is what the Godly do.
While working for the state I was blessed to work with a Church of Christ preacher and his family. The original family included the preacher, his wife and their incredible daughter. She was about thirteen or so at the time that they added the first child to the mix. She was another girl a year or two younger, but the older daughter seemed to flourish in her role as older sister. I must admit that I had no idea this family existed at this point, but something tells me that it went as incredibly well as I imagine it in my head. To continue on the actual timeline I started working for the state after this had taken place. One of my first cases was a case of three young siblings. There were two sisters and a young boy. They were all under the age of six when I was first assigned the case. This family began to foster them and these children did not come from what we would call a functional family. There were allegations of sexual abuse that seemed to be verified in the children’s behavior, there had been physical abuse that included being used as ash trays, they were behind educationally, malnourished and most of all they were in dire need of a hug. A group of children like this is not easy work. They are high need children. They require a huge emotional investment. Problems can often times take years to overcome and sometimes the scars are never healed. This family had taken them in though and never looked back. Some foster parents look at the kids as a burden or as some sort of necessary evil. They can seem to be in it for the money or for some sort of emotional high. There are some that have there own kids and the foster children become second-class citizens. Then there are some that do a really good job. Then there a few that love these children as if they are their own. This family did exactly that.
I have no doubts that these high need children caused some stress in this family, but it did not show. It did not show in the mother that now had much more on her plate than before. It did not show that she had to miss school events, sports games and alone time with her only birth daughter that she had once coveted. It did not show on the father that took on this leadership and financial burden with grace and mercy that we could all hope for, and lastly it did not show on this young girl. She was no longer the single devotion of her parents. In the matter of a few years this young teenager had gone from a single child the older sister of four new siblings. I do not know how she did it. My family added a brother when I was in school, but we went from four to five, not one to five. This young lady continually blew me away. She may have complained, but I would stand amazed today if she had. She may have not wanted to have to share her parents after having them to herself for so long, but she did. She probably missed her time with her mother, but she held no grudge. She may not have wanted to be an older sister but she was a flourishing example of what being a big sister is all about. The Bible teaches that all followers must die to their own desires, this family did and this young girl was an example that I have been challenged by to this day. The family finally adopted these children and I was as excited about this as I have been about some of the greatest moments of my life.
This young girl and family is one of the reasons I will one day adopt and/or foster children. When encouraging others to adopt one excuse that often come up is that their kids will be neglected in the process. For a second this makes a sense, but the dam quickly breaks. The job of parents is to raise children that know and fear the God. They are to shepherd their hearts and disciple them to Godliness. Which child would have learned more about Godliness, the only child raised alone, or the one that was taught about sacrifice and how to die to self. I know that adoption is not something that every family can do. I know it is difficult. I know great sacrifices must be made, but are we following the example of Christ. The Father sacrificed His beautiful Son to adopt us as his own, is there really any sacrifice to great that we can make for him. Be challenged by the example of a young girl as I am. You may not be ready to adopt, but if you claim Christ as Lord today is as good a day as any to die to you self serving desires.
